Blake asked me to marry him last night.
I’ve been looking forward to the time when I could do this post on my blog. Not so I can tell you all how excited I am (although I most certainly am!) but because now I get to share with you some of the ways God has been incredibly faithful to Blake and I on this whole journey.
From the start of our relationship, Blake has always been the committed one and a lot of the time it felt like his feelings for me were stronger than mine were for him. Over the December/January period my feelings changed a lot. I started to become a lot more attached to him. At about the same time, lots of people I knew were getting engaged or married and it made me long for that too (in an unhealthy way). In fact, I would say I was jealous of those people.
Blake and I had marriage as our goal, but we hadn’t talked about time frames and I was desperate for that security.
So I found ways to bring it up and eventually we did talk about it openly.
But it didn’t go well. We both ended up with hurt feelings: I felt like Blake didn’t want to be with me and Blake felt pressured by my demands that he work out a time frame for marriage. We agreed not to discuss it anymore, at least for a while.
I turned to God in prayer, asking for patience for myself, for guidance and wisdom for Blake and that I would be able to trust God’s leading through Blake. Blake was also praying that he would know when would be a good time for us to get married.
I settled down. I was still praying about it, but it was becoming easier to trust God.
A few months ago, on a walk, Blake told me that he was thinking that mid-2009 would be a good time for us to get married and that’s what he would like to work towards.
Needless to say I was overjoyed and extremely thankful to God for answering both of our prayers for help. In reflection, I think it is an example of what’s described in Proverbs 3:5-6:
Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
What can I do but praise him?
And that’s only the first part of what I wanted to tell you…
Once we knew the time frame for marriage that we were planning for, a problem arose as to where I would live for the first half of 09. I currently live in a place called Flo Harris Lodge, run by my church, Petersham Baptist Church. They generally don’t like people to stay for only 6 months because it’s so hard to find replacements mid-year. So that was only going to be a last resort. I wanted to move out, but I also didn’t think it would be fair to move out with a bunch of people from Flo at the end of the year, because they would also have the difficulty of finding a replacement for me 6 months in.
I was talking to my Mum about it last time I was home and she had a few suggestions. The first was that I live with my cousins in the Western Suburbs and commute to uni. But I didn’t like that idea because it would mean seeing Blake a lot less and probably leaving my church. Her other idea was to live with a young family from church and pay board. That idea seemed okay, but I’d never really considered it.
The other idea I had was to find an already established share house in the church that would have a vacancy next year.
While I was thinking and praying over this issue, I thought that I probably wouldn’t go about seeking options seriously until we were engaged, or it might seem a bit weird to be talking definitely about wedding plans.
However, I started to get a little anxious. The share houses I had my eyes on seemed to already have filled their vacancies or would be dissolving at the start of 09. I kept praying that God would provide a place for me to live next year and that he would help me to trust him.
I was liking the sound of living with a family more and more. I would be able to learn lots about how families (other than my own) function and I would be able to cook and clean and mind kids (all things I love to do!). But I was still keen not to formally start looking until it was official.
A couple of weeks ago Fiona (the book-keeper for Flo and a young mother from church) called me into the office and asked if I had found somewhere to live next year (I had asked her months before about whether I would get my bond back if I stayed at Flo for only 6 months). I said I hadn’t yet, but I was thinking of living with a young family from church.
She said, “Oh, that’s really strange. We’re going to be looking for someone next year and I was just going to ask you.”
So after a few more logistical conversations, it was decided that I will be living with Fiona and her family next year.
And all this before I’m even engaged!
To me it was an amazing example of how God had it all under control to begin with. And how he leads us to pray for certain things so that he is all the more glorified when he brings them into being.
As we plan for the marriage ahead of us I am hopeful that I will see (and share!) many more examples of God’s amazing faithfulness.
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